Ninjas in Action

Ninjas in Action

Behold the Awesome Skill of the Shadow Warrior!

Ninjas are supreme fighters. They can kick ANYBODY'S butt. The only thing that can beat a ninja is another ninja. Here we see an artist's rendering of the brutal result of two ninjas in combat. It's never a pretty sight. Let this serve as a reminder to NEVER pick a fight with a ninja NO MATTER HOW TEMPTING IT MAY BE!!

Here's our newest ninja, NinGeorge, practicing the Menacing Pose. A menacing pose is an all-important ninja skill. If you strike the right pose, your opponent will know you are a super fighter with some SWEET skills and will probably stomp him a new one in a hurry. This will psyche him out!

One of the awesomest ninja skills is wall climbing. Here NinGeorge is stealthily scampering up the dojo training wall.

One of our students working hard in our dojo. The Tanjun Ryu is dedicated to producing FIERCE warriors who fight well and party hard!

OK, this isn't really a ninja pic, but just look at it! It's so CUTE! It's a little kitty who fell asleep in his food pan. I mean, how cute can you GET for crying out loud!!? If there's one thing ninjas love more than spam and partying with hot chicks, it's cute kittens. They're like ninja kryptonite, I tell ya. Put a fuzzy little kitten in front of us and we forget all about killing and stealthy hijinx.

The photo above was taken in our dojo. This local pirate gang we've been feuding with hired this hotshot karate fighter to come in and challenge our best ninja. Pirates are such cowards! I mean, they didn't DARE send their toughest pirate to fight. NO WAY! They sent this karate thug to do their dirty work. Anyway, we thought it was a girl at first but it turns out it was just a geeky Tae Kwon Do dude. So he comes in and he's all "I challenge your best ninja! If I win, you must turn your school over to the pirates!" We're all, like, "Yea, baby! It's on!" So as a joke we sent our WORST fighter, NinBob, to mix it up. The Tae Kwon Do geek starts striking these stances and yelling "KIAI!!" And NinBob is like, "I'm not even over there yet! I'm WAAAYYY over here!" and the Tae Kwon Do geek says "Is that a CHALLENGE!!??" And NinBob says, "You already challenged, bonenugget and I'm on my way over there to fight." The Tae Kwon Do geek says, "You want to fight??!! You fight MEEE!" and he starts doing these pretty flipping kicks high above his head like he's fanning some really tall guy with his foot. So NinBob draws his SWEET ninja sword and runs over and cuts off the Tae Kwon Do geek's head. We had some cute Asian girls come in and clean up the mess and then we partied. Boy did we make the pirates look like a bunch of dickweeds that day!

NOTE FROM GRAND MASTER BILL:

My apologies for the over-enthusiasm of our webmaster. The above incident as described is only partly true. First, the Tae Kwon Do geek was not sent by pirates. We do not know any pirates and would probably not feud with them if we did. A local McDojang called "Tommy Almond's Tae Kwon Do Extra" sent him to spy on us because we're taking all of his students. He and NinBob began to argue and got into a fight- which went exactly as described above except NinBob did not decapitate the TKD geek. He just kicked him in the nads. Hard. The cute Asian chicks came in to clean up where the geek puked after getting his jimmies jangled. He limped back to Almond's McDojang where he probably got another beating for being such a wuss. Then we partied.

Here's NinBob executing a SWEET Ninja Kick. The Ninja Kick is totally devastating. It's one of the most difficult moves but NinBob is an expert. He can execute it even while brandishing ninja weapons!

And we will be waiting for you, oh homeless warrior. Oh yes, we WILL be waiting....

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